Odds and Ends
Sorry for taking so long to post my movie. I did have problems exporting it. But after I solved that, I decided I didn't like the movie itself anymore. So I reworked it a bit and added some more variety and tried to make it more about the creative process, and my confusion on how to use digital tools to tell an unknown story. In this new one, my friend Nick says in reference to a chess move, 'sometimes I want to overthink it.' And I guess that's the idea I wanted to work with. I'm already starting to question its effectiveness as a piece, but I lost that chess game when I second guessed my own moves. I'm posting my script for the original movie to add context. I don't know why I thought that anyone, even myself, would like to watch a splinter of me and Nixon talking in front of an American Flag for five minutes. That was nuts...
My Fellow Americans,
Good Evening.
I don't like things now, and I think it's time I told you.
I would have preferred to live long ago. Before the atomic bomb killed the frontier and finalized the map. But I'm not alive then. All I have is now, and maybe tomorrow.
But it's hard to find hope for tomorrow nowadays.
Growing up, with Clinton as my childhood's president, I could see the future very clearly. I could see stability and intelligence. I could see that soon we would declare God dead. That America would stop pretending and be honest, and move on. We would move on to great things. I could almost taste the secular paradise that lay around the corner. But I was very wrong.
Richard Nixon once warned that we could never let 'Afganistanism' deter us from America's duty. Afganistanism was an old term the press gave to US interest in far off countries that no one cared about. Nixon argued that the world was now too small for us to ignore even the tiniest detail.
He was right.
I think about Afganistanism a lot now, but I've changed the definition. For me its every story I read about progress being held up by backwards tribal idiots inside America. Every story about some goddamn midwest congressman who wants make America into a Christian Taliban nation. I used to think we could have an agnostic president in fifty years, but now I see that in fifty years we'll still be arguing about abortion and stem cells.
And I become enraged. Filled with a holy righteous fury. I want to expel every god fearing man from my planet. My indignation is so strong... so merited.
I wonder some what makes my fury pure. Those tribal Jesus loving zealots seem righteous too. But they're not. They're not right. Because they have no integrity. Integrity is a youth phenomenon. I realize now my parents have none, and my teachers have none, and no one on television has any. Integrity is...
I guess it's like this, I no longer understand why stealing is wrong. I try to think the way I used to. Even after I started to steal thousands of dollars of art every year I could still understand it when my dad told me stealing was wrong. I could wrap my head around the idea. I can't anymore. Now when people tell me stealing is wrong, all I can think is, 'get the fuck out of my way.'
It took me a month to get past my own furious integrity to actually think about stealing. To discover an argument more thoughtful then, stop, blocking the future.
Here it is: I should have access to everything. If I had a billion dollars I could watch every movie I ever wanted to, I could read every comic book, and listen to every album. Wikipedia has shown me what freedom of information is really about. Democracy of Information. And any jackass who tries to slow my learning, impeding humanity's growth for greed, is problem.
And when I think about these problems, these ancient problems that are living and thriving all over my America, I get angry. And I have a right, because I have integrity. And I think I'm beginning to see why integrity is a young man's game. And, what it is. Integrity is hating everyone over thirty for their complacency in this world that resists the future. Integrity is seeing the future with young eyes. Knowing you are right, and knowing the future will prove your righteousness.
And I wonder what will happen when I lose my integrity. And if it will happen fast or slow. If I'll feel it leaving my body or if I'll be a fool and think I still have it at fifty. I want to ask my parents when they lost theirs, but I know they won't say.
If it doesn't leave me I'll probably go crazy. Dylan kept his integrity, so did Holden Caufield. I think mental institutions must be full of futurists with integrity.
So how do I age? I know I'm right still, but I no longer have confidence in the victory of the future in my lifetime. A new world that will validate my beliefs. I see now that the idiots are perfectly content to keep fighting the dumb fights until the world crumbles. I don't know. We'll see. I guess I hope that I mellow with age. But becoming pacified is a miserable thought. I just hope that when I lose my integrity I can still remember what it used to feel like. That I can still remember that I was right then. And that my children, unborn and unnamed, will someday be more right than I.
In The Times They Are a Changin', Dylan told the old folks to help or get out of the way. And I guess that's all there is to say to those who've lost their integrity. What I want to say to me when I have kids and a job. When you see the future coming, don't get in it's way. Step down.
My Fellow Americans,
Good Evening.
I don't like things now, and I think it's time I told you.
I would have preferred to live long ago. Before the atomic bomb killed the frontier and finalized the map. But I'm not alive then. All I have is now, and maybe tomorrow.
But it's hard to find hope for tomorrow nowadays.
Growing up, with Clinton as my childhood's president, I could see the future very clearly. I could see stability and intelligence. I could see that soon we would declare God dead. That America would stop pretending and be honest, and move on. We would move on to great things. I could almost taste the secular paradise that lay around the corner. But I was very wrong.
Richard Nixon once warned that we could never let 'Afganistanism' deter us from America's duty. Afganistanism was an old term the press gave to US interest in far off countries that no one cared about. Nixon argued that the world was now too small for us to ignore even the tiniest detail.
He was right.
I think about Afganistanism a lot now, but I've changed the definition. For me its every story I read about progress being held up by backwards tribal idiots inside America. Every story about some goddamn midwest congressman who wants make America into a Christian Taliban nation. I used to think we could have an agnostic president in fifty years, but now I see that in fifty years we'll still be arguing about abortion and stem cells.
And I become enraged. Filled with a holy righteous fury. I want to expel every god fearing man from my planet. My indignation is so strong... so merited.
I wonder some what makes my fury pure. Those tribal Jesus loving zealots seem righteous too. But they're not. They're not right. Because they have no integrity. Integrity is a youth phenomenon. I realize now my parents have none, and my teachers have none, and no one on television has any. Integrity is...
I guess it's like this, I no longer understand why stealing is wrong. I try to think the way I used to. Even after I started to steal thousands of dollars of art every year I could still understand it when my dad told me stealing was wrong. I could wrap my head around the idea. I can't anymore. Now when people tell me stealing is wrong, all I can think is, 'get the fuck out of my way.'
It took me a month to get past my own furious integrity to actually think about stealing. To discover an argument more thoughtful then, stop, blocking the future.
Here it is: I should have access to everything. If I had a billion dollars I could watch every movie I ever wanted to, I could read every comic book, and listen to every album. Wikipedia has shown me what freedom of information is really about. Democracy of Information. And any jackass who tries to slow my learning, impeding humanity's growth for greed, is problem.
And when I think about these problems, these ancient problems that are living and thriving all over my America, I get angry. And I have a right, because I have integrity. And I think I'm beginning to see why integrity is a young man's game. And, what it is. Integrity is hating everyone over thirty for their complacency in this world that resists the future. Integrity is seeing the future with young eyes. Knowing you are right, and knowing the future will prove your righteousness.
And I wonder what will happen when I lose my integrity. And if it will happen fast or slow. If I'll feel it leaving my body or if I'll be a fool and think I still have it at fifty. I want to ask my parents when they lost theirs, but I know they won't say.
If it doesn't leave me I'll probably go crazy. Dylan kept his integrity, so did Holden Caufield. I think mental institutions must be full of futurists with integrity.
So how do I age? I know I'm right still, but I no longer have confidence in the victory of the future in my lifetime. A new world that will validate my beliefs. I see now that the idiots are perfectly content to keep fighting the dumb fights until the world crumbles. I don't know. We'll see. I guess I hope that I mellow with age. But becoming pacified is a miserable thought. I just hope that when I lose my integrity I can still remember what it used to feel like. That I can still remember that I was right then. And that my children, unborn and unnamed, will someday be more right than I.
In The Times They Are a Changin', Dylan told the old folks to help or get out of the way. And I guess that's all there is to say to those who've lost their integrity. What I want to say to me when I have kids and a job. When you see the future coming, don't get in it's way. Step down.
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